Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
