Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
