I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
