I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
