based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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