I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Terrible idea I love it
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
