I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
