i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Boobs speak an international language.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
