I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
