I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
