I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Randomize
