All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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