I hate all girls vehemently.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
