My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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