"it" just moved
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
