I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
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