Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
