Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
