He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
