You're my little dorito
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
