Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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