hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
