so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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