I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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