just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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