I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
