so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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