Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
