Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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