I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
