Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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