im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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