Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
