Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
