I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Randomize
