I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
