I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
