I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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