I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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