What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
