he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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