Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
