when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
