so explain again why im purple
no
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
