I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
