Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
