how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
