just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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