So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
