I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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